Between Now and Dead

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I started listening to Dr. Laura about a year ago.  It seems harsh to hear the words but really... let get down to it.  Between now and dead beth... What do you want to do with your life.  Arn't you tired of "Being Depressed" "feeling hopeless?  You have so many moments of strength... and then so many days where you want to, lets be honest.  Die.  

My children are the reason I get up in the morning... literally.  I can remeber days where I don't know how I got out of bed but I did.  Today, I still get out of bed for them... They need to go to school.  They need to eat.  they need a good send off for the day.  they can't know that their mom is stuggling.  I am all they have.  I have moments of weakness and my daughter Lauren catches on really quick.  She is burned with seeing me cry.  I hate that.  I do not believe in giving your kids your problems.  So today is the first day of the rest of my life... I started my blog post.  

A blog, something I always wanted to do.  I am told I have a story to tell.  For me that is too much pressure so I decided to day that I will free flow write everyday and see what happens.  

My goals for today are to make some doctors appointments for the kids, write to Marcus from the profit, even if its just to say hello, finish filling out Financial information for Colleges.  Do some laundry, make a bed, have dinner prepared for the kids, take care of lukes the dog, and if there is time... finish some ongoing projects in the house and meditate.  I know I know... my order of things are not so ideal but I am a work in progress.  

Ben is in Isreal ... he left yesterday for 10 days on Birthright.  So proud of him and his courage and his ability to do what makes him happy.  He takes good care of himself.  

So much to be thankful for... Between now and Dead what do I want to do?  What is my purpose? 


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